Thanks to Stuart Eglin who originally posted this on his excellent blog and who gently twisted my arm to start my own blogs post collection!
I write this with a degree of trepidation. Why would anyone be interested in what I think or have to say? This must be a common fear that I’m sure many novice bloggers face. I’m not a prolific writer, I have spells where I read quite a lot, then stop, then start again. I watch about 4 hours of TV per week, fall asleep listening to Radio 4, and realise I fill the rest of my time with talking. I’m aware that I’m someone who needs to talk my thoughts out loud to make sense of them.
I have spent what feels like a life-time attempting to pause – with various levels of success – just enough so that whatever is ejected from my mouth has a degree of coherence. As always, the fear of being perceived as ‘wittering on’ is strong.
I have been reminded recently that I do enjoy the process of writing. I have constrained myself by only using this skill when I write a work-related report. I realise that this association has become a creative block so, when encouraged to blog, I experienced a number of false starts:
- I want to write.
- I want to write something of interest.
- Who will find it interesting?
- What will I write about?
- Who am I writing to?
- What assumptions am I making?
So to get started I thought I’d just … get started! With this comes the hope of something unlocking within me through the process of sitting down to write. Setting myself the challenge of just ‘getting something on the page’, and with the encouragement of friends and colleagues,this is it.
And when I review the words, I realise something interesting. This is written in the style of my voice, how I think and conduct dialogue. I miss the conversation with someone else’s contribution, and I also realise that this solitary pursuit will provide me with a new space to learn a bit more about myself and with one step at a time, with the knowledge that I’m the harshest judge of myself… what’s the worst that can happen?